The fact that a soft butch, suit wearing, married lesbian is considered a super vanilla and kind of dull choice as an Oscar host makes me really happy.
I just encountered a question more infuriating than “what is your mother’s maiden name”
"Who was your best man at your wedding?"
I have been attending free classes through an experimental college for several years, and have even taught some.
The EXCO movement is a global thing, free courses taught by anyone. Locally, the problem is, the vast majority of participants could afford these classes if they did cost money, many seem to have quite a lot of disposable income. So, what is the point?
I am sometimes an exhaustingly bitter person to talk to, and even my most plainly stated opinions get treated like they are disrespectful or outrageous, and often I have to wonder why. This is the category of things that I complain about that are “nice”
The point, they say, of, for example, volunteering for one week at a school, of making a class free, or of handing out chili on a street corner, is that it is nice.
What makes it nice? Well, in the above examples, what is nice is that these actions could help people, but don’t. Heartwarming movies have taught us to value struggle, but on the part of the oppressed especially, they have to find resources by coincidence, rather than have their participation enabled by the design of the resource.
People are more comfortable with not helping, designing things for themselves that others could technically participate in. People are more likely to approve of a thanksgiving soup kitchen or a pop-up random location free meal kitchen than of a resource for food insecurity that operates year round and is easy to find—that is to say, sometimes, the extent that an action doesn’t really help is important to it’s niceness.
Cis people telling cis people they are wrong about very basic info on trans issues, because “you are cis”.
Uh. You are also cis, can’t you be wrong too? We can both be wrong.
Ok here is an analogy
Person of color tells white passing person, hey, you don’t understand black issues.
Ok, this is valid and happens sometimes.
White person tells white passing person they don’t understand the world because of their white privilege:
????? This is ridiculous and happens CONSTANTLY. And I mean people I have known their whole lives and I know their background.
I propose a solution
Don’t act like a privileged baby when someone corrects you.
Don’t correct others on topics you know nothing about. Learn about groups different from yourself, but don’t take your learning as license to police their identities and invalidate their experiences. Don’t tell your fellow privileged people that they can’t mention the issues of their friends and lovers, if you are also speaking on those issues.