The sudden jump from awkwardness to making out in fiction just takes me right out of the story.
I know romances are fantasies, but I need to see myself in the fantasy? A little uncertainty, the careful navigation of cues, wondering if you are reading the other person right or if it is just wishful thinking. And if it is a queer romance, you have to wonder if the other person even understands that you could be interested, or that they could. There are many professions, not one single pronouncement of love prior to a quick bang.

fannybawws:

pollums:

holding women and women’s media in popular culture accountable and hating women and women’s media in popular culture overlap a great deal.

it’s undoubtedly valuable to feminist discourse but also a dirty kind of justice, and you shouldn’t feel purely righteous for…

alexob:

here is a clever idea:

image

A team of scientists led by George Whitesides injected liquids into the air-filled pockets of bubble wrap with syringes and sealed the holes with nail hardener. They successfully ran anemia and diabetes tests on the liquids. They also could grow…

(Source: acs.org)

"

A thought experiment: Imagine how people might react if Taylor Swift released an album made up entirely of songs about wishing she could get back together with one of her exes.

We’d hear things like: “She can’t let go. She’s clingy. She’s irrational. She’s crazy.” Men would have a field day comparing her to their own “crazy” exes.

Yet when Robin Thicke released “Paula” – a plea for reconciliation with his ex-wife Paula Patton disguised as an LP — he was called incoherent, obsessed, heartfelt and, in particular, creepy.

But you didn’t hear men calling him “crazy” — even though he used it as the title of one of tracks.

No, “crazy” is typically held in reserve for women’s behavior. Men might be obsessed, driven, confused or upset. But we don’t get called “crazy” — at least not the way men reflexively label women as such.

“Crazy” is one of the five deadly words guys use to shame women into compliance. The others: Fat. Ugly. Slutty. Bitchy. They sum up the supposedly worst things a woman can be.

WHAT WE REALLY MEAN BY “CRAZY” IS: “SHE WAS UPSET, AND I DIDN’T WANT HER TO BE.”

“Crazy” is such a convenient word for men, perpetuating our sense of superiority. Men are logical; women are emotional. Emotion is the antithesis of logic. When women are too emotional, we say they are being irrational. Crazy. Wrong.

Women hear it all the time from men. “You’re overreacting,” we tell them. “Don’t worry about it so much, you’re over-thinking it.” “Don’t be so sensitive.” “Don’t be crazy.” It’s a form of gaslighting — telling women that their feelings are just wrong, that they don’t have the right to feel the way that they do. Minimizing somebody else’s feelings is a way of controlling them. If they no longer trust their own feelings and instincts, they come to rely on someone else to tell them how they’re supposed to feel.

Small wonder that abusers love to use this c-word. It’s a way of delegitimizing a woman’s authority over her own life.

Most men (#notallmen, #irony) aren’t abusers, but far too many of us reflexively call women crazy without thinking about it. We talk about how “crazy girl sex” is the best sex while we also warn men “don’t stick it in the crazy.” How I Met Your Mother warned us to watch out for “the crazy eyes” and how to process women on the “Crazy/Hot” scale. When we talk about why we broke up with our exes, we say, “She got crazy,” and our guy friends nod sagely, as if that explains everything.


Except what we’re really saying is: “She was upset, and I didn’t want her to be.”

Many men are socialized to be disconnected from our emotions — the only manly feelings we’re supposed to show are stoic silence or anger. We’re taught that to be emotional is to be feminine. As a result, we barely have a handle on our own emotions — meaning that we’re especially ill-equipped at dealing with someone else’s.

That’s where “crazy” comes in. It’s the all-purpose argument ender. Your girlfriend is upset that you didn’t call when you were going to be late? She’s being irrational. She wants you to spend time with her instead of out with the guys again? She’s being clingy. Your wife doesn’t like the long hours you’re spending with your attractive co-worker? She’s being oversensitive.

As soon as the “crazy” card is in play, women are put on the defensive. It derails the discussion from what she’s saying to how she’s saying it. We insist that someone can’t be emotional and rational at the same time, so she has to prove that she’s not being irrational. Anything she says to the contrary can just be used as evidence against her.

More often than not, I suspect, most men don’t realize what we’re saying when we call a woman crazy. Not only does it stigmatize people who have legitimate mental health issues, but it tells women that they don’t understand their own emotions, that their very real concerns and issues are secondary to men’s comfort. And it absolves men from having to take responsibility for how we make others feel.

In the professional world, we’ve had debates over labels like “bossy” and “brusque,” so often used to describe women, not men. In our interpersonal relationships and conversations, “crazy” is the adjective that needs to go.

"

Men really need to stop calling women crazy - Harris O’Malley (via hello-lilianab)

I remember when my dad would try to explain that his ex-wife was crazy, and guys would be like “yeah man, mine too!” And he would get really frustrated like “oh your ex-wife was SO CRAZY AND IRRATIONAL because she… didn’t want you going to bars? Yeah dude my ex tried to drive off a bridge with all our kids in the car because she thought I was stealing their souls with satanic rituals GET SOME PERSPECTIVE HERE.”

(via evil-bones-mccoy)

(Source: Washington Post, via bamfinacuddlyjumper)

sashaforthewin:

worsethandetroit:

This oppressive cyberpunk dystopia is nothing like the oppressive cyberpunk dystopian future I was promised.

In my day, the opressive cyberpunk dystopia had significantly more floating rings on everything. And maid robots.

sashaforthewin:

worsethandetroit:

This oppressive cyberpunk dystopia is nothing like the oppressive cyberpunk dystopian future I was promised.

In my day, the opressive cyberpunk dystopia had significantly more floating rings on everything. And maid robots.

"One of the most durable paradoxes of white supremacy - the idea that those who are closest to an experience of oppression are its least credible witnesses."

Walter Johnson, Soul by soul: life inside the antebellum slave market
(via drapetomaniakkk)

This is the type of violence—from microaggressions to epistemic violence to emotional/physical violence to enslavement/genocide—that gets justified by asserting that the oppressor is “objective” and “logical” and thereby “credible.” As if there is objectivity in choosing to oppress. As if the emotions of entitlement, indifference, greed or hatred aren’t involved. 

(via gradientlair)

(Source: guitarbains, via medievalpoc)

"

“THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!” roared Black. “DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!”

“Actually,” said Harry, pocketing his e-cigarette, “Peter’s pursuit of rational self-interest is of a higher moral order than your determination to kill yourself on another person’s behalf, Sirius. Self-sacrifice is never the answer; it ends only in pain and death.”

Sirius blanched. “But Voldemort — we could have stopped Voldemort.”

“It’s a free market,” Harry said, shrugging.

Lupin turned into a wolf.

“Control yourself,” Harry said. “Good lord, man, you’re a being of pure will and drive. Exercise it.”

Lupin turned back into a man with flashing, clear eyes and a jaw that could level a mid-sized office building.

“In the marketplace of ideas,” Harry went on, “Voldemort has the same right to disseminate his philosophy as you do. If his philosophy is sound, it will flourish. If his philosophy is unsound, you have nothing to fear.”

"

Ayn Rand’s Harry Potter and the Prisoners of Collectivism (via departmentofgrizzly)

(Source: elucipher, via dakotaaaa)

note to self: from now on

pollums:

  • any moment that i spend putting my happiness under circumstances i can’t control, whether it’s wishing for more money, hoping for a job or promotion, yearning for recognition, or pining over a relationship, is a moment that i have wasted

Although both may be considered rude, there is a difference in intention between correcting someone’s grammar and trying to figure out what they meant to say, or what they think those words meant.